Silent Revenge

organ donor on ice…

my own words fuck me.

im drunk on formaldehyde.
live tissue covering a worthless heart…
drowning in vague images,
tv reruns of a single night
that has lasted my entire lifetime.

do i even remember
the last time I danced with a girl?
so, no this isn’t about a girl.

scarred deep inside my vital (?) organs
i am now only a sieve for paper mache
rerun glimpses of happy.

If i believe in a God
and this is how detatched
i have become, then
it is no longer a struggle…

not to fix the broken…
or write anew.

it is now just an inevitable
ER waiting room,

a warm up for a cold steel drawer
waiting to be identified,
and toe tagged.

So here i live… watching myself
in the waiting room… watching
the pink ice melt in the tub,
… endless drone of an auction
for a dead liver, and
a heart worth nothing.

all i hear is the auctioneer.

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2013 jnv / emotionalorphan